Won't use real names or initials, maybe just fake names or numbers, in order to avoid LH.
#1 was a shidduch attempt just a month after I joined my community, by a wonderful married woman in my community. Her "best friend" was divorced for a while, a couple years older than I am, with one teen and one child out of the house, if I recall correctly.
I called just 24 hours after being given the phone number. No answer, left a voice mail.
A few weeks of telephone tag and we finally connected live.
Had a nice chat until I suggested meeting for coffee. She couldn't because:
1) She was very busy at work
2) She was very busy getting her daughter ready for summer camp
3) She was very tired lately from 1) and 2)
4) She was doing a lot of dating lately and wanted to take a break.
[If all those things were a problem, why had she agreed to her friend's suggestion to take my call?]
I nonchalantly said that I was sorry that the timing wasn't good, and that if things changed I would be happy to hear from her again.
She seemed sincere when she gave a "promise to call when things slow down" and that she "really will call then".
10 months later, I still haven't heard from her. The intermediary has never mentioned her name again to me, and has never inquired as to how things worked out. I'm too polite to ask "what happened to your friend?"
This is another example of the thoughtless shidduch that I previously wrote about. No thought given, in this case, to readiness to date.
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So when you try to make a shidduch, some thought should be given to good timing.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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